Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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