I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
