i already hear my dad disowning me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
