It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
