Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
