They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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