what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
