He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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