atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
