she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize