Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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