This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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