Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
