Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize