the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
