I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
