Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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