Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
