she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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