guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
