i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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