Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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