oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
