Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
