Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
