For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize