ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
