We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
