i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
