it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
