Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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