You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
