I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
