I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
