The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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