she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You took a bar mat shot.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
