Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
