i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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