Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
