Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
