From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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