I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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