I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
