i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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