Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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