I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
