he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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