he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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