Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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