It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I fill condoms, not promises.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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