Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
