we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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