She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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