Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We are two peas in an std pod
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
