69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
