I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
