Nicole vs. Life
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
