I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize